Crisis on Infinite Bullets

Part 2: Attack of the Clones! ... well not Clones per se, OH JUST READ IT! 

      Since the Bulleteer Society of Justice appeared on New Earth – 1. The people have been overjoyed at their arrival. The planet had no heroes, and the Bulleteers were swift with their bringing of justice... and rants. Sean gets in his Thanagarian armor and Jim just slips on his What-Not uniform. They enter the mighty Hall of Bullets. As they sit at the Table of Justice, they talk about the events of the night. 

“Hey Jim, did you have weird dreams last night?” 

“Yeah Norge, I had bizarre What-Nots in my head or something.” 

Sean pulls out his notes, Jim pulls out some comics. 

“So Jim, what's your Speeding Bullets going to be?” 

Jim looks at the stack in front of him... so many comics... 

“I don't know yet. I'll think about it while I'm cutting my hair... and WHAT-NOT!” A pair of scissors is conjured by the What-Not ring, as they do their thing. Sean starts to laugh, “Are you going to get a buzz cut or something?” Jim looks up, “Dude, I'm not in the military.” They both have a laugh as Sean prepares his notes and Jim flips through a few issues. 

The Hall of Bullets serves not only as the base of the Bulleteer Society, but as home, training ground, recording studio and LCS. That's right, half an acre of comics are located in the building! You can find most of the Bulleteers here, especially on Wednesdays. The Teen Bulleteers, Steve and Vida, are the only ones in the store on this Tuesday. They are discussing comics when a mysterious voice comes up from behind them. 

“So this is the legendary Comic Hole within the Hall.” 

Vida and Steve turn around. A cloaked individual is standing outside the door. Next to him is a very blond teenager with shopping bags and the preppiest outfit you can imagine... and she looks just like VIDA! Before our Teen Bulleteers can react, they are thrust against the wall by an invisible force projected by the cloaked individual. “You may have mastery over metals, but I - ” The mystery man takes his hood off to reveal... STEVE?!? 

“ - Master gravity!!!” 

Steve gives his apparent doppleganger a puzzled look, “dude what does that have to do with my magnetic powers? They're not related?!?” 

Gravity Steve looks a little embarassed and screams out, “SHUT UP! MY POWERS WORK FINE!” 

Vida's bow is suddenly placed in front of her, arrow loaded. Steve uses his magnetic powers to aim at the mysterious double. Blond Vida is trying to warn Gravity Steve, but Gravity Steve is focused on crushing our Teen Bulleteers. Vida lets loose on the arrow. Steve is guiding it to it's target. It connects, piercing Gravity Steve's hand. Blood is all over the floor. Blond Vida screams.


Vida rolls on the ground and prepares another arrow, she glares at Blond Vida: 

“You be quiet now. Ditz.” 

Blond Vida becomes offended. Her diatribe is so powerful it numbs the minds of the Teen Bulleteers. 

“Oh my gawd you did not just insult me... you look SOOOO tacky with your stupid outfit.. green is SOOO out. Gurl you need to go to Gap or something and buy some better clothes. I go shawping ALLL the time and maybe I would pick out an outfit for you but you're not good enough to be with me and my grrlfriends so that's why I'm GOING TO KILL YOU!!” 

Steve and Vida struggle on the floor. They are writing in pain. The sickeningly sweet bubble gum voice of Blond Vida drives them mad. A strange glint appears in Vida's eyes though. Before the two pass out, 2 Knight Wing shuriken (copyright 2007, tradmarked property of Brent Kossina) strikes the heads of Gravity Steve and Blond Vida, who are knocked out. Steve struggles to his feet. 

“Who the hell are these losers?” Brent gives Steve a hand. Steve looks around, “Apparently, they're clones or something of me and Vida...” They both turn to help Vida, but she is standing, with her back turned to them, slouched over. “...Vida,” Steve asks, “are you okay?” 

She speaks, but does not turn around, “Who is Vida?” She turns to reveal Vida has transformed... “I am VIDARA!” She pounces on Knightwing and Steve. They struggle against her inhuman strength. They are unable to hit the alarm, as Vidara drags them toward the back issue section... 

In the HyperUniversal Meditational Zen Room... Raph contemplates the contents of the Universe and his new column. He senses danger in the Comic Hole... and he awakens. “There's something wrong... the universal boundaries have been severed. I must do someth—UHN!” A figure stands behind him, a lead pipe in hand. “No you won't!” 

Matthew Guy steps outside into the atrium of the Hall of Bullets. He looks up into the sky, smiles and says, “KAL-EL!” 

A beam of sun-light strikes Matthew Guy, but that is not all! A man who looks just like Matthew Guy holds the Excelsior Knight by the throat. “You am friend. You must LIVE!” 

Sean and Jim are going over their notes and discussing the show, when an explosion rocks the room. Rubble starts to fall on top of our heroes. Sean valiantly smashes the rubble with his mace, but he finally misses and the two are crushed under the rubble of the decimated Dining area! Kendra aka Super Mom walks in on this... she is stunned! “What the hell happe-AAAAGH!!” A broken steel beam smashes into her, impaling her! The Bulleteers have suffered their first loss! 

Outside. A group of people stand and observe the carnage. The Bullet Tower has fallen into the Hall! Chaos reigns! The ringleader stands on top of the hill, his troops are ready

to strike at the Raging Bulleteers, weakened and fallen! 

“BOYS!” He turns to face his troops... “GO GET 'EM” 

We finally see the face of the ringleader.. it is none other than 


The villains charge at the Hall of Bullets... it is truly a CRISIS!

To be Continued in Part 3! 

Crisis On Infinite Bullets: Secret Origins – Kendra Behn-Smith aka Super Mom! 

      Kendra Behn-Smith is of rare geek nobility: She's a GEEK GIRL! She chose to marry a mere mortal (non-geek) man. She is dedicated to the cause of fighting evil on NEW-EARTH 1 as SUPER-MOM. She also picks up her children from school and makes them sandwiches for lunch. Without the crust! Can I have one?

      When Kendra and family landed on New Earth 1, she was determined to fight evil, but protect her family. Kendra stays at the Hall of Bullets after she tucks her kids in and then when they leave for school.. she is out again!

      Kendra's powers are unknown. Although it might be kinda pointless, as I'm giving her an origin story after I just killed her... or IS IT????!??? 

Kendra Behn-Smith... Cameo... or MORE?????