Hey everyone! It's time for another Bulleteer Madness! It is a bit late, as my LCS guy is still kaputsky and I had to go to Midtown today (Thursday). Not that I don't like Midtown, just want to support my LCS!
Before I get started, I wanted to announce that I hit Demon Etrigan on the CGS forum. For those of you not in the know, Demon Etrigan is a status on the forum given to those on their 666th post. I am somewhere in the 720's right now. I was in the early 200's a month ago... what a difference a month makes! Yes, I'm very active on the forums... I have no life outside them anymore... but I never did anyway...
To commemorate this occasion, the
rest of this column will be in rhyme. Etrigan is a demon of a specific
class, who can only speak in rhyme. Therefore...
GONE GONE THE FORM OF MAN
RISE THE GEEK SPEAK'S NEWEST ETRIGAN!
Now for all the world to see, a new rhyming columnist that is me.
Let us start with a new
type of incant, Yes folks it is time for Raph's Rant!
Raph's Rant of the week:
Pseduo deaths and 52 speak.
Just a reminder to you my friends, this is a column that may spoil ends.
If you do not like to see, do not set your pitchforks on me!
Simply skip over what you
will, and go read the book and thrill!
Ere as the column has been,
52 reviews you have ne'er seen.
However, the events of the past few must be discussed,
deaths of characters or we thought as much.
Charlie , the Question, is not dead,
Someone else is gone instead
I gave Charlie a moving eulogy,
only to have DC make a fool of me.
I will miss the departed Animal Man,
but do not expect this fan
to miss him much,
for heroes often come back as such!
So so long, farewell for now,
Buddy Baker will be back I will allow.
Morrison did let slip this before,
that Buddy's death would be in store
he said this was the last time he'd write Baker,
a grim sign to call the undertaker.
Fret not my friends,
though Buddy is gone this is
certainly not the end!
Raph's Silver Bullets of the
Week, done also in this rhyming speak,
The first to get some recognition,
is a book that possess much ammunition.
The “YEAHBUHWHA” bullet is number one.
This time there are two that share in the fun.
Gen 13 #4 and Martian Manhunter,
deeper and deeper into their plots I am under.
Gen 13 has introduced the teens' father,
while Martian Manhunter find his friends to be a bother.
The conspiracy in both books grows and grows,
where Simone and Lieberman
are leading us, who knows?
The second bullet to be given away,
is in honor of Animal, HOORAY!
The “Honorable Death and Surprise Return”,
is given to 52, which makes me yearn!
To pick it up next week,
when many answers are given that we all seek.
Supernova's identity finally revealed,
the blood of Buddy Baker on the floor congealed
The final fate of Charlie may lead,
to the Healing Physician at Nanda Parbat indeed.
This book is another golden gem,
if you know someone not
reading this, give it to them!
The final bullets is important of course,
this book is a main stay in the DCU, a force.
The final book that I will discuss,
is packed with action and suspense and is a must!
For my “Bang for the Buck, You Mooch Pick it Up!” pick,
there is no doubt this choice will stick.
Justice Society of America #2,
If you didn't pick up one, well then screw you!
We learn the fate of Mr. America, dead
We find some character moments also, with Ted
Maxine gets a costume, which is nice.
Starman reveals he is from another world!
While the Return of Hawkman is finally unfurled!
I would loved to have seen the delight on his face,
Sean Whelan... with wings on,
equipped with a mace.
That is all for this old Bulleteer.
Tune in next week to find where the column steers!
Oh and if you're tired and bored with this rhyming!
It will be gone next week,
support Comic Timing!
Return Return form of Raph,
Enough with the rhyming time for a bath!
Raph is a 22 year old Hunter College
student. His column, Bulleteer Madness, can be viewed at the Raging
Bullets webpage,
www.ragingbullets.com.
He is also attempting to get a podcast started, and has a webpage
dedicated to it and to his comics endeavor, the Wraythverse. That can be
seen at
http://www.freewebs.com
He will also SHAMELESSLY PROMOTE
anything he finds enjoyable. You can contact him at
ComicGeeksUnite@gmail.com
OFFICIAL DISCLAIMER: Raph's rants and insanity do not reflect the opinion, beliefs or goals of Raging Bullets as a podcast. Any opinions, words or strange sounds coming out of Raph are completely his own, and shall be treated as such by anybody with sue-happy lawyers. Oh, and if you're actually going to sue me, get a life, I'm not really here to trash anyone, just spreading the comics love.