Welcome to the ultra-hip, redesigned,
re-imagined BULLETEER MADNESS!!! That's right folks,
BULLETEER MADNESS! This is Raph, still your favorite
columnist not getting paid to do what he does. I decided
to keep the old numbering, why reboot with a #1? With
the new name, there's also a new format.
I will have a few
consistent sections. The Silver Bullets will remain
about the same, three picks and a blurb about each
title. I will have a “Did You Know?” section for
information about myself or things I discover. The Sean
Whelan & Jim Seguilin patented Raging Review may or may
not be there each week, it could be supplanted by Raph's
Ranty! That's right a RANTY! Like a Shanty, except full
o' Rants! I am eagerly anticipating NY Comic-Con, and
I'm hoping Brent Kossina will take this bad boy off my
hands for a week while I do an audio comment for Sean
and Jim... this will happen sometime in the next few
months.
This is a spoiler
column. I will mention certain things from certain books
that if you didn't read, you're gonna get mad at me for
revealing them. By reading this, you've freed me from
any liability and waived your right to kick my ass. HA!
Silver Bullets of the
Month
The “Curiouser and Curiouser” Bullets -
The “Tear in my Eye” Bullet -
The”PICK THIS UP YA DAMN MOOCH” Bullet -
Raph's Ranty – Part two of a four part
series: 2006 – Remembered. April – June 2006.
Well let's see... Infinite Crisis over, 52 Began. Ah yes, 52. This has to be the greatest weekly series of all time. It is the best maxiseries of the DCU in my humble opinion. The One Year Later reboots occurred. I enjoyed a few of them throughly, a few of them were ENH (Enthusiasm Not High). I pretty much remember being hyped up for Superman Returns. I was all over the news sites and fan sites. I also got my iPod video! I started watching video on the go, and I thought I probably wouldn't download podcasts, unless I could find a comic book one... HMMMM....
I'm going to save
my Superman Returns stories for the next part of the
series. I went to see that movie SIX TIMES! Not because
it was the greatest comic book movie of all time, I just
love Superman. If Lex grabbed Superman's hand in that
movie and said, “I wish I could quit you!” I would've
watched it 5 times... and then beaten the director in
the head with a metal pipe and strangle him with a
Superman cape while screaming, “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING,
YOU SCHULMAKER WANNABE!?!?!?!”
R-R-R-R-R-RAPH'S
RAGING REVIEW OF THE WEEK!!!!!
Hmm I still had space for
a Raging Review of the Week!
So what am I going to
review...something I didn't get into, something I may
drop that I don't want to...
ROBIN #157
“Things That Go Bump in the Night”
Writer: Adam Beechen
Artist and Colorist: Frazer Irving
Letters: Jared K. Fletcher
Cover: Gleason & Faucher
Assoc. Editor: Michael Siglain
Editor: Peter Tomasi
Okay, okay here me out before you slay me. Jim just gave this title a rousing review in the Speeding Bullets segment of Episode 31, and I agreed with him. I started on about issue 154 or 153 on the recommendation of my mentor and LCS owner. I liked the arc with that kid with the belt, and the Suicide Helpline one, in fact that was a Silver Bullet a few weeks back.
Let's get into
this.
The issue starts out with a page focusing on a bunch of animals. The next page is Robin trying to get a cat out of the tree. He makes a comment about it being a job for Superman. He gets the cat and then flips down to hand the cat to a bystander kid, assuming it's his. The kid replies that he just wanted to see if Robin was going to fall. Kids today. It was funny to hear Robin say that. I liked the opening.
Robin runs around town with cat in tow, when he hears a noise. He runs into an abandoned building, only to find a dead body. The alleyway nearby yields nothing, save a huge marks in the brick wall. Something big did this. I'm gonan comment on the art here. Irving reminds me of Daniel Acuna mixed with Howard Porter style paint, the cover artist for JLA at one point and Battle for Bludhaven, among other things. I don't dislike the art, but he leaves a lot of white spaces, and it's distracting enough that I notice it. It's good art, but incomplete.
We have a funny scene next at Wayne Manor. Tim tries to pawn the cat onto Alfred, who doesn't want anything to do with it. They exchange words and finally Alfred is with the cat alone. He holds the cat and says, “Shed on any furniture and you and I will have words.” Hilarious. So far this is still good for me. I don't know why I was so put off by it yet... turn the page...
We're in school with Tim. Tim chases down Zoanne. He wants to talk, she gives him the silent treatment. He picks her up and brings her to a room and apologizes for not telling her where he was after the kidnapping. Then he brings up the kiss and gets a date with her for dinner and a movie!!! Okay... since when was Tim Drake the new Dick Grayson?? Is it the Yellow suit???? Tim's had Alexis (waaay back in the late 90's), Stephanie, he kissed Cassie and now Zoanne??? The next part is what I had a real problem with.
Robin is thinking about the above date while riding his motorcycle with the cat on board. WHAT THE HELL? Where is the continuity?? Is he taking the cat to the shelter? Is he taking the cat on the date?? He gets knocked off the bike and he loses the cat, when he hears noise in a nearby alley. He runs over to the alley to find it empty, save for one bum near the trash. The bum points to another abandoned building. The cat is there and when Robin tries to retrieve it, it hisses. Robin discovers it's not hissing at him, but at this huge beast behind him!
The beast knocks Robin around. Robin is introspecting while he holds it off with a stick. It bites the stick and slams him into the ground. Tim reacts quickly by using some sorta pellets that freeze it, maybe liquid nitrogen? Of course, the beast breaks free. Tim finally figures out that it wants the cat, and jumps on it's back. He is summarily slammed down onto the ground. He is knocked out for a while, when he comes to, he finds the cat and monster are gone. The only person there is looking for the cat, it belongs to him. It's none other than...KLARION THE WITCH BOY!!
Okay, well it
wasn't TERRIBLE, but there are a few things. Aside from
what I've already said... wasn't Klarion featured in
Robin a few months ago?? Yeah, it was during Infinite
Crisis, but still. Plus, when the hell did Klarion get a
cat? Can somebody tell me?? I love Robin, and I'm going
to finish this arc, but the book is now on the chopping
block. I think they switched artists too, and the guy is
good, but too many white spaces ruined it for me. This
book gets 2 and ½ stars. My wallet needs to be saved
anyway, I picked up Green Arrow as a new book, so I'm
going to sacrifice something.
NEXT TIME ON BULLETEER MADNESS:
Silver Bullets
Ranty – Retrospective part 3 – SUPERMAN RETURNS!
AND MAYBE SOME OTHER
STUFF!
Tune in! Keep Raging! Buh-Guyh.