The Raging Bulleteers – One day, two men
decide to do a podcast. Their podcast spreads
and takes in the lives of a select few people.
They are all on the CGS forum one day, and the
combined might of these people generates a
portal into a Earth much like their own, but
they discover they have powers. These men and
women use their powers to... rant on and on
about how Hawkman is the greatest hero and how
Creeper is an on the fence title for the-oh,
they also fight evil occasionally as the..
BULLETEER SOCIETY
OF JUSTICE!
THE ROLL CALL
Sean "Dr. Norge” Whalen – The Leader and Founder of Raging Bullets. Has three personae. Sean Whalen, comic book fan. Hawk-Sean, warrior of Thanagar who has been retconned... but never truly duplicated. And we have the villainous Dr. Norge, who lured Jim Seguilin into comics, but was destroyed by the What-Not powers.
COMMENTARY: This
just stems from the fact that Dr. Norge sounds
so similar to Dr. No, and I just saw Casino
Royale... also Dr. Norge will play a separate
role later on...
Jim “Sensei of
the What-Not” Seguilin – One of the few
remaining practitioners in the What-Not Arts,
Jim was drawn in by the evil Dr. Norge to his
layer of comics. Dr. Norge planned on taking the
Sensei's wallets and What-Not powers, which are
contained in the What-Not ring. Dr. Norge failed
however, and Jim managed to separate Sean from
Dr. Norge. Sean and Jim continued as a
partnership of comic fellows, reading, reviewing
and ranting when they saw fit. The What-Not
master's powers allowed for great conversation,
with his perfect “dictation.” The Sensei's one
weakness is bridges. These wonders of
architectural brilliance can be admired by the
Sensei, but he cannot cross them, for his
What-Not powers will not allow that.
Brent
“KnightwingBK” Kossina – The Audio Commenter
Supreme of the RB podcast, Brent uses his powers
to fight for the lives of the comics he loves.
He also happens to be a charming ladies-man ala
Dick Grayson. His quest for the preservation of
comics and for equaling Nightwing's lady count
leads him to Raging Bullets, where his keen
intellect and gymnastic athleticism allow him to
serve humanity... and geekdom.
Matthew Guy – The
Excelsior Knight of Raging Bullets. Matthew was
born with a few physical setbacks, but his
belief in comics, and particularly Superman, led
him to an incredible event. One night, while
reading the latest Action Comics, the Spirit of
El appeared. The Spirit of El was the keeper of
the flame for all things Superman. Matthew had
been chosen... by simply uttering the word
“Kal-El”, Matthew transformed into a being who
had superhuman strength and speed, flight,
invulnerability, heat-vision, x-ray and
telescopic visions and super breath... the
powers of the House of El. Matthew's passion for
Kal-El led him to do things that can simply be
described as... Super! When not saving the day,
Matthew is assisting the Co-Captains of the
Society, with encouragement and the ideas of
“Infinite Possibilities.” He also has finally
found a use for the glasses he's been wearing,
plus the Super kiss comes in REEAAAAL handy!
Raph “The
Madness” Soohoo (Yes I reveal my last name
finally. Yes, it rhymes with Yoohoo. No, it's
not a fake last name!) While perusing the comic
book landscape online, Raph discovered the
phenomenon of Podcasting. Raph downloads a DC
Comics podcast called Raging Bullets, and the
rest is history. His column for the show
captivated all who saw it. When the Bulleteers
made their way to this new Earth-1, Raph was the
first to ask for powers.... but he wasn't the
first to get them. Y'see, Matt's a HUGE Superman
fan so he got to be Superman, Sean beat Raph's
head in with a mace to get to Hawkman's powers,
and the Sensei's superior What-Not powers
blasted Raph a few miles in the other direction.
So what powers did Raph get? Well.. he can fly,
he has strength, he's got a katana, and he can
SHAMLESSLY PROMOTE ANYTHING TO DEATH!!! Eardrums
will shatter as Raph targets his enemies and
forces them to read his column! The powers mean
a lot to Raph, but it's the comics love that
keeps him, and the rest of the Bulleteers,
fighting the good fight!
Juan/Weitall – As
the official Robin fan of the Bulleteers,
Weitall's powers of deduction, crime fighting
and the ability to wear yellow without looking
like a sissy increased. As a student at John
Jay, Juan has an extensive knowledge of the
criminal mind as is, but he is now truly a
detective in the tradition of Batman, Robin,
Question and ... someone else who's a detective
that I haven't mentioned...
Doug/Dougtron
3030 – Dough came to this new Earth-1 with one
thing in mind: non-sequitur humor. Doug entered
the Superpowertron and exited with the ability
to teleport, talk to the writer and scream out
52! Doug is very effective in battle, when he
isn't distracted by the Gerbil of Interference.
The Gerbil.., which constantly fights with
Cheeks, the Toy Wonder. Cheeks... beware!! What
was that? Dude, I only know Ambush Bug from
52... you want me to make you the most bad ass
out of all the team?? C'mon man I can't do that,
what about the others?? Listen, I'm gonna take
this "talking to the writer" power out if you
aren't going to cooperate... Thank You.
Jeff "Squach"
Greiner (the often on the show mispronounced
last name, like grinder only without the "d")
Jeff reached Earth-1 and discovered a GL ring on
his hand. With it, Jeff has used his Kyle
Rayner-like imagination to summon forth many
constructs to help in his battle against evil,
but specifically he references Dungeons and
Dragons like he does on his wonderful D&D
podcast. (Yes, I shamelessly promoted someone
else's podcast in my own story... it's my story
though, so as Custer said to the Indians “Nanny
Nanny boo boo, stick your head in doo doo.”)
PAYBACK-SXE:
Mutha$#$#^%^% you must not know who I am, I'm
PAYBACK $#^^^$$@#$!! That is the battle cry of
the walking tank of the Bulleteers, PAYBACK. For
some reason, Marvel Universe powers were
available and PAYBACK chose to be the
Juggernaut. I'm hoping to God Marvel doesn't sue
this New Earth-1... Unstoppable, except by
lawyers, Undefeated, except by copyright
litigations... it is PAYBACK TIME for those who
would harm the innocent.
And of course we
have our special branch of the Society, No..
they're not sidekicks.. they're the Legion of
Teen Bulleteers!
Steve
C/Esteban89: Steve became the 2nd
columnist on Raging Bullets, and he was
welcomed... just as the portal opened and
everyone was sucked in. Steve's powers include
those of Cosmic Boy. He also sells guitars, and
if you think they're defective, he'll smash one
over your head to prove they aren't. Ouch.
Vida/Vidara: When
Vida landed on this New Earth-1, she landed in
the familiar emerald garb of the Green Arrow.
After the rest of the Bulleteers spent an hour
trying to calm her archery-obsessed fangirl
geekery, she learned that she could shoot arrows
rapidly, and that her quiver was bottomless. Of
course, that wasn't all. Her extreme emotions
led to a schism within her, causing two
personalities to inhabit her body. Vida, the
calm rational one and Vidara the manic, ranting
lunatic fangirl... which doesn't make her
different from Sean or Matthew or Raph... we're
all frothing saliva at the mouth when we rant...
With only the weakness of massive credit card
debt (just because the quiver is bottomless
doesn't mean it's free!) and city crosswalks
Vida fights crime with her keen eye and
diminutive height... in the suburbs. YOU try
getting her to come to the city, sheesh. But
with her dual personalities, you never quite
know whose side she's on... unlike Civil War...
dude we all wanna see Cap kick Iron Man's
snobby, pansy ASS!
And thus, our story will begin next time with our heroes Sean and Jim... of ANOTHER WORLD?!?